Gargaro's World: How To Tell If You're a Grinch...

Merry Christmas to the loyal readers of The NEWS. Please take this quiz to see if you register as a Christmas Grinch.

You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)

You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)

You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).

You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)

You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car)

After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.

Did you enjoy this article? Click here to subscribe to The NEWS Magazine

Kyle Gargaro is Editor-in-Chief. Email him at kylegargaro@achrnews.com.

Recent Articles by Kyle Gargaro

You must login or register in order to post a comment.

Grinch Thy Name is Kyle!

Santa´s Helper
December 26, 2007
You know too much about this subject to just be a reporter.

Multimedia

Videos

Image Galleries

2013 ACCA Conference & IE3 Expo

Photos from the 2013 ACCA Conference & IE3 Expo in Orlando, Fla.

Podcasts

Selling Zoning is Easier Than You Might Think

This overview of the benefits of zoning includes tips for selling to consumers and businesses. Tom Jackson discusses options for new construction and retrofit, as well as some ways a residential contractor can get into the light commercial business with zoning products. Speaker: Tom Jackson, CEO, Jackson Systems
More Podcasts

THE MAGAZINE

ACHRNEWS

NEWS 05-13-13 cover

2013 May 13

Check out the weekly edition of The NEWS today!

Table Of Contents Subscribe

HVAC LEASING

Some HVAC contractors have introduced leasing programs for consumers. Do you think this is a viable option?
View Results Poll Archive

Clear Seas Research

Clear Seas ResearchWith access to over one million professionals and more than 60 industry-specific publications, Clear Seas Research offers relevant insights from those who know your industry best. Let us customize a market research solution that exceeds your marketing goals.

DON'T MISS A THING

Magazine image
 
Register today for complete access to ACHRNews.com. Get full access to the latest features, Extra Edition, and more.

STAY CONNECTED

facebook icontwitter iconyoutube iconLinkedIn i con