I take my blogging responsibility very seriously.

That is why I make this pledge to you: I will never try to combine punctuation to convey the mood I am in at any given time. You know what I am talking about - the colon followed by the parenthesis to show someone is happy. The equally creepy semicolon followed by parenthesis to show someone is winking.

I once got an e-mail from a friend who arranged punctuation in such a way as to be winking, smiling, and sticking out their tongue all at the same time. I stared at that thing for an hour and still couldn’t figure out how it was done.

Luckily it was from a female friend. For if it was a male who engaged in such shenanigans, I would surely have to revoke their man card and give serious contemplation as to whether I could be their friend anymore.