Gargaro's World: What Job Ads Really Mean
July 6, 2009
With the U.S. unemployment rate hovering around 9 percent, there are a lot of good people out there looking for jobs. In addition, there are always people with jobs who are looking for new jobs. None of your employees I am sure, but they are out there.
Keeping that in mind, I thought I would share an e-mail that made it into my inbox this week. It helps job seekers understand what certain phrases they see in a job ad really mean. Hope this helps.
• Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
• Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.
• Some overtime required: Some every night and some every weekend.
• Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
• Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality assurance.
• Career-minded: Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
• Apply in person: If you’re old, fat, or ugly, you’ll be told that the position has been filled.
• Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience: You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
• Problem-solving skills a must: You’re walking into perpetual chaos.
• Requires team leadership skills: You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
• Good communication skills: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.