ACHRNEWS

Murphy's Law: Where Are Those Matches?

November 23, 2011

I wonder why … I can never find a match when I want to light the propane grill? I place matches all around the house and even in obvious places like next to the grilling tools — you know, the three-foot long spatula and the matching three-pronged fork, both only necessary when rotating large mammals on the grill.

However, when it’s time to actually fire up dad’s favorite beer accessory, the matches are always missing in action.

The BBQ grill is old and the electronic igniter failed long ago. One of the plastic wheels broke, which makes for an interesting commute from the garage to the back patio. Still, I can deal with the inconveniences, if I could just find the matches in the last place I left them.

Maybe it’s the propane grill’s way of paying me back for past transgressions. As a greenhorn at Lennox Industries, I once wandered with a fellow cigar aficionado to the back dock where we actually had matches. Upon lighting up, Sid (we’ll call him Sid) proceeded to tell me that we had just fired up while standing next to a propane unit. I looked around. Not seeing a BBQ grill anywhere nearby, I had no idea what he was talking about. To this day, because I have been sworn to intellectual secrecy, I still have no idea what Sid was talking about.