I hate it. We all hate it.

E-mail has turned into the digital telemarketer during dinner. It’s too much, too often, and — in my lowly estimation — too cheap. I wish they’d charge for it so the spammers, slammers, and scammers could just go bother someone else.

In the meantime, you and I nearly dread the return from a vacation, finding inboxes crammed with promised millions, Viagra offers, male “enhancements” and some scandalous promise from the marketing world. (Yes, probably even me on occasion.)

Many of you have e-zines for clients who visit your Website. Yahoo! Great move, that’s an awesome babystep toward the relationship. But it cannot stop there, or in fact, it WILL stop there … then retreat.

MarketingSherpa — an online marketing training company — conducted a study of 4,000 e-mail/e-zine publishers and found some startling news about e-mail backlash. If you ONLY use e-mail as a customer contact, they found that “credibility and readership” were most at risk. Seems those might be important.

Shocker No. 2: They found many online, solely digital based businesses “finally” resorted to postal mail to drive customers to portal and commerce sites with resounding results. One seminar company ($40 million in sales) that teaches how to make money on the internet found its biggest response to seminar attendance was from — gulp — postal mail.

Re-read the first 3 sentences of this article. Now read the rest of this entry and the strategies you should consider now to grab your customer’s attention while your competition is looking for the “cheap” way to drive them to boredom….

Bottom Line: Postal mail is back, in a big way.

Almost immediately, we launched a paper and ink newsletter mailed to our top clients (CRC and MegaMarketer members receive The Contractor MegaMarketer every month.) We’ve been bugging you about this trend, feeling it would only get worse. We were half right.

It got worse, but for two different reasons: distraction and interruption.

Whereas postal mail can be read at leisure, and other media can be chosen or not, e-mail continues to relentlessly bling into place, ever heightening the stack of “unopened” mail, each begging for attention … while some legitimate e-mail lands in the SPAM folder for no discernable reason. (Case in point: I’m doing a product exchange with a man I’ve communicated with for a couple months; today, without warning I see his proposal is in my SPAM folder ... and has been for 2 weeks. Why? He had a dollar sign in his e-mail.)

I was sure I was on the “other side” of the age group attempting to form a “Let’s Kill the Sender of the Next E-mail I Didn’t Request” party. But no, not by a rather long shot. And the “target” audience that contractors are after hate e-mail more than you do!

So, here’s where I admit I was half-wrong, twice in one article. Quoted from Vertis Communications study on readership habits and advertising response:

“Despite the rise of Website, e-mail, and other electronically based advertisements, printed direct-mail marketing pieces are still widely read, especially by women ages 25 to 44.

"Eighty-five percent of women ages 25 to 44 (with e-mail accounts) said they read printed direct-mail pieces compared to just 53 percent who read e-mail advertisements. The percentage of young women who read e-mail advertisements has not changed from 2005, when 54 percent indicated they viewed this type of marketing. Numbers for women 45-65 were 94 percent and 45 percent, increasing the e-mail to postal gap markedly.”

Double oops. Your “target” group prefers postal mail, and e-mail readership hasn’t gone up at all in 3 years. (Remember, the prediction was that the U.S. Post Office would be nearly shut down by now!)

After a year of our print plus e-mail versions, results have been astounding. We “point” from one to the other, engaging people at the level they prefer. Likewise, we point from e-mail to web, web to phone, and mail to both. E-mail alone could never accomplish this. Also.…

Ever try finding that e-mail you so enjoyed 4 months ago? Sure, I can print it out and save it, but who does? But with “real” mail, I can keep up with it in one location quite handily. Mark it up, dog ear, write on it, rip a coupon and put it in my wallet.

Your strategy in a limping economy —

• Build a huge, impenetrable fence around your customer base starting yesterday using a variety of media. Primary means is direct mail. Secondary means is Telephone (as thank you to every service visit, follow up to request referrals). Third means is e-mail identified clearly as from you and NOT a solicitation.

• Postal mail contact frequency per customer: 4-12 times per year with at least 4 contacts as “soft sell” and/or educational pieces (newsletters, reminders, or other). Two to four more can be “celebratory” (birthday, anniversary, holiday, etc.) The remainder direct response offers.

• IN ADDITION to above, you can e-mail up to twice as often (since delivery rates are so pathetic) making sure every contact is run through a SPAM filter. More trigger words are added daily: http://hudsonink.com/marketing_ektid1506.aspx

Remember, your credibility is contained in how you contact your customers. If YOU ONLY communicate in a way that’s cheap and grossly overused, don’t be surprised if you’re “associated” thereby. Combine your contact methods. Let postal mail “drive” customers to the phone and to your Website; pound your name into their recall for their friends and neighbors.

From my office window, I see sweating people. They are not engaged in manual labor, nor using a Thigh Master; they are in fact, just standing there. I’m no meteorologist, but in Alabama, this signals summer.

This means my boat will be brought out of hibernation, and called into service as a lake going vessel capable of both family fun and financial ruin. After many summers of this knife-edged relationship, I’ve figured out that boats only break during the following circumstances: when you overuse them and when they’ve not been used enough. My mechanic quite sincerely has said both of the following to me: “Man, your impeller gave out because it was used so much” and “Man, your impeller gave out because it sat too long.”

So, faults aside, I like the boat. And I like it to be really clean before it’s launched the first time, until moments later when a full Coke is knocked into some unreachable abyss. I used to detail it myself, but this year, I’ve become a lazy slob and started shopping for a boat detailer.

These are virtually the exact same steps your prospects follow searching for a suitable contractor, choosing you or your competitors accordingly. Make notes:

• I asked my mechanic. This is the equivalent of a prospect asking their trusted Pest Control guy if he knew a good plumber or their lawn maintenance guys about a painting contractor. There’s a “like-kind” quality in referral seeking, often overlooked. We technically term this as “COI” or “Circle of Influence” and it is more powerful than you can imagine. (If you’ve got a PowerPack, you have “COI” letters and list sources.) Too often, contractors think of customers as the only referral source. Wrong. Plus, that’s “one to one” where reaching out to non-competitive contractors can turn one phone call into thousands of potential references.

So, what did my boat guy tell me?

“I get asked that a bunch. I don’t really know of one. But if I hear of a good one, I’ll let you know.” Wow. I wonder if an enterprising boat detailer might detail this man’s boat for free, just to show him his skill, and turn that into 20-40 jobs instantly.

• I asked my boat psycho friends. Disturbing responses here. Two said I was crazy to use anybody that wasn’t me (bad experiences) and two said, “I don’t know. I only use them once a year; they’re usually independents who move around, so I never use the same one twice.” Clearly, a major retention problem. Hair stylists or realtors (two trades with high turnover) always write their customers to let them know of the move. Smart.

These detailer guys must insanely expect customers to dredge up their names and hire a detective to find them. Ha! I know you’d never expect your customers to “remember” you from an infrequent visit, would you? Your customers have flawless memories, never talk to others, and are blind to competing advertisements, so retention would be unnecessary, right? Just making sure.

Getting nowhere, my next step was to…

• Gather “visual” evidence of other detailers. I Googled for Websites, recalled a couple shops I’d seen — one was 50 yards from where I keep my boat. Then I went to the Yellow Pages. I know, shoot me. I’m old and stupid, but Websites were weak, plus I could quickly get the number for my “recalled” shops. Your prospects do this, too. The Website or Yellow Pages gets “credit” for the call, but many times prospects have heard of you, know of you, have seen you, but go to the Yellow Pages just for the number. A presence on Web and in Yellow Pages aids validity, confirmation. Then things went badly...

• Made An Assessment in the Call. The most convenient one, which is a significant asset when trailering, answered the phone almost unintelligibly. I think they said the company name, so I asked, “Is this the boat detail shop?” to which she remumbled the shop name. Going on a hunch she’d said “A-Plus Detailing” I proceeded to tell them my boat was nearby and … she interrupted, “We don’t pick up boats.” I told her I didn’t expect them to, and began again, to mention I was looking for someone who could detail an older ski boat that … she interrupted.

“James ain’t here; you want to call back in an hour?” This, being my pet peeve, was it. I told her thanks anyway, I might call back. Side note: If James is the only one who can actually speak to a prospect, what the heck is he doing having her run off prospects? He’d be way better off with a voice mail or phone forward to his cell if he’s gone a lot. The image of the company was spoiled, the convenience negated. If the customer service before the sale was like this, what happens later? You think I’m being picky?

Your prospects go through these steps. Dozens or hundreds per day in your town are making mental, visual, verbal notes to solve their contracting challenge. Each detailer had significant opportunity to boost appointments (the mechanic, retention marketing, referrals, professional CSRs, image building and display of competency.) You think they might’ve benefitted from paying the boat storage facility for their mailing list? Just a thought. You have these same options, staring at you.

The examples and knowledge gained from others, applies to you in the way you buy. Load the boat with these principles, and leave the competition in your wake.

My fearless editor, Mike Murphy, who shall remain nameless, wrote an editorial about the tax credit stimulus package for energy savings. He felt that the ARRA program was fairly difficult to obtain compliance for the credits, and basically concluded the program was created by bureaucratic nitwits with the IQ of cantaloupes. This is, I feel, an insult to cantaloupes everywhere, and someone should be sued.

But then again…

You’re contractors and are used to complicated. You thrive on exploded diagrams — long as they can be unexploded — and understand sequential diagnostics toward a solution. This problem may be less complicated than we’re thinking.

The dollar amounts for the credits are of course three times more than the previous credits, and those were sold in rather significant numbers. The way they’re sold to homeowners is not necessarily on entry or acquisition cost.  That’s a good way to frighten someone, or have them knee-jerk themselves to the next cheaper option.

You sell them on ROI, showing and proving to a homeowner that this credited Cadillac system they formerly might not have considered can actually be less expensive to own than the uncredited Chevy they were looking at.

Let’s say you’re quoting a “good” system at $5,000 and a “best” system is $7,000. (You’d better be doing tiered pricing or you’re losing lots of sales.) The good system is guaranteed to save a homeowner 10 percent on energy a year, amounting to $360.

Remarkably, that’s a 7.2 percent return on investment. You may as well tell them that their new green system really is, since it’s spitting out cash like an ATM but happens to keep their house comfortable and raises their property value. As they’re getting their hydrocarbons in a wad over this revelation, you drop the bomb…

“And I’ve just figured that the other system, which we guarantee an energy savings of 25 percent, using your same energy figures, will save you $900 a year… which is a staggering 12.8 percent ROI! And Mr. Homeowner, I don’t know how your 401K is doing, or if you’ve got an oil well in the backyard, but 12.8 percent is beyond anything guaranteed on the planet right now.” He salivates. Spit is bubbling on his stingy broccoli eating lips…

“Uh oh” you say. His demeanor drops. He knows your calculator is messed up, and that you’re a blooming idiot with a decimal problem. “This can’t be right” you say…

“I forgot about the tax credit. This system that pays you $900 a year in energy savings also comes with another $1,500 in pure tax credit, taken right off your bill when you pay your taxes. This means…. that…. your actual return is… are you ready?  Nearly 14 percent.”

Mr. Homeowner, now you know why this program will not last. The government gives slowly, tends to take rather quickly. So which rate of return do you want… the 7.2 percent or the 14 percent?” Let him pick.

I’ve got a few dozen contractors doing this now, and the marketing that gets the leads to go with it. They are selling their little patooteys off using this marketing and sales method. They, bluntly, don’t mind that their competition continues to think this is hard.

I plan to have a Teleseminar on this very topic June 24 with two of these contractors. Each has sold hundreds of thousands in equipment using a pretty simple method. What would you like me to ask them for you? 

Check it out here, http://hudsonink.com/coaching.aspx?id=2255

I could almost just generalize with “Social Media” in the above headline, but it sounds more violent and unruly to hate something with a cartoon name. I mean, it’s like “I’d Like to Scrub the Toilet Bowl with Sponge Bob”; who wouldn’t read that? (Power in a headline.)

Anyway, Twitter and other social media sites are indeed the rage. Facebook, with a mere 200 million users, is hardly a kiddies’ playground anymore. LinkedIn (sort of like Facebook for business) is “the” social hangout for commercial connections. With myriad other discussion groups, subgroups, and topical hotspots for micro-niching, how’s a marketer to make it anymore?

Before you get your twit in a wad, or unlink me from the scintillating post that “you’re going to breakfast soon,” please put on the marketing glasses for a second. My first and main interest is the “who”. It is the defining, crowning, all-valuable “who” that dictates the message and its hopeful response.

If a market’s sole value is sheer numbers, then there’d best be a unifying language, problem, villain, or passionate cause in their psyche or the marketing is for naught. Have fun with that “branding” campaign; just don’t ask me to pay for it. Thus, my “who” needs definition. The reason I also hate card decks (Money Mailer, et al) for contractors is the same: big, broad, ill-defined numbers.

By all accounts, staying “active” long enough to define your social media groups is time consuming. (I’m bracing for the email response now “IT IS NOT! MY BOSS WOULD BE MAD IF I SPENT MORE THAN 7 HOURS A DAY DOING IT!”) Some experts claim just “30 minutes a day” but I ain’t buying it.

In Twitter, you get 140 characters per Tweet. (Every time I talk like this, I imagine myself wearing huge orange shoes, scanning for Sylvester the Cat.) This is scarcely what we’d call “long copy”, and without a TweetDeck (organizational tool) you’ll be mind-numbingly insane before you establish enough of a relationship to even mention what you do for a living. Snidely, you may be in the minority there anyway.

So, back to the numbers. The hours spent, the nose-time invested, the “ad aversion” mentality, message brevity, and response reaction time all lead me to conclude this is a currently sorry place for B2B. For the time/productivity wasted, you could buy a radio station and get your following that way.

Twitter has its place — obviously — but do not consider it as anything other than a tangential media. It is really NOT for business any more than hanging out at the bar or golf course is designed for business. That may come as a long-term, profitable way to rationalize the time spent, just don’t mistake the mission.

So, let the crowds check it out; let the Today Show feature it; and let the marketing gurus laud it (and be sure to watch for their “how to” packages, kits, training on “mastering it” at an e-commerce site near you soon!) You’re advised to spend your time more productively.

Next time, FaceBook and LinkedIn. Until Then, Here are some thoughts on how (or if) you should consider Social Media:

• Common sense first. Do your target buyers use social media? If so, read the rules and register. Follow the lead of those claiming success. Basically, understand the who.

• How big is your database?  If of the above group, ask them to sign up for your Facebook page or follow your Tweets.  See how many do so.

• If your database is under 500, is building the list on social media the way to go? Similar to No. 1 above, you must know who they are and if they are online. 

• Once you’re positive social media is right for you: start a Facebook and Twitter account.  Stay focused on your profession, not what an idiot your Congressman is, or how Dale Jr. keeps getting the shaft this year. Let people know you by your profession, and put some personal things in there, but never damaging or unnecessary polarizing.

• If it gets active, get a Tweetdeck.  Far easier than the Twitter tool.  In a shocking display of efficiency, Tweetdeck helps organize your posts, replies, and followers. 

• Provide quality content.  Just like the golf course scenario, it helps to give advice before expecting someone to pay you for it. You can discuss technologies, green-ness, point to articles (hopefully ones you’ve written), other sites, books, more. You need to be a helpful authority.

• Get Promotional and Get Gone. This is why you do No. 6 instead. If it becomes the you show, then you can get banned, deleted, cancelled and otherwise offed.

There are some benefits to consider:

• Fast feedback. (Quantity and quality of your responses is a great measure of your success.)

• Good posts get spread virally. Clever, informative posts get shared on other networks, creating more links and exposure.

• Cross–promotion. You can put other sites, blogs, of yours on Twitter, Facebook, linking them back and forth. (Of course, once on your site, you can promote.)

Let us know your thoughtfulL thoughts, reactions, responses, or suggestions by sending an email to TwitThis@HudsonInk.com. Some selected comments may make it to our next blog. Thanks!

The National Automobile Dealer’s Association is having their annual meeting in two weeks. You wonder how lavish a meeting they’d hold amid such a catastrophic car buying downturn; Chrysler bankrupt, GM down 46.1 percent, Ford down 41.1 percent, dealers shuttering businesses across the nation.

Well, in a move either to be revered for boldness or wrangled for stupidity, it’s being held in Hawaii. Guess if you can’t sell any cars, you may as well surf.

Got me to thinking…

What are the contractor “events” going to be like this year? I only speak eight times a year (deliberately cut back from 10 for the past eight years) and had one cancelled a couple months back.

Reason?

“Too little attendance,” they said. Interestingly, two weeks ago I did one that set a 30-year attendance record. There was no difference in the contractors, the speaker, the offering, nor the fee.

What was the difference? Easy — motivation and differentiation.

The second group was motivated to do something different, to raise the enthusiasm, boost the baseline, turn off the TV and make something happen. They did, in a big way. They also made dead certain this was not just another event.

Last year, I attended several national industry events, only one stood out as being forcibly different. They too, set attendance records. The others seemed, well, funeral-like in both demeanor and unwillingness to change the venue.

What events are you planning to attend for the rest of 2009?

What would make you want to attend a training event?

What would make you stay home?

I just returned from a marketing seminar for a multistate distributor. Keep that in mind for a second…

Recently, another multistate distributor cancelled our event, claiming, “The economy is just too bad.” They never offered the event — only sending the death notice to their dealers. Their hard times didn’t end there; training events stopped completely, they closed two locations, sales reportedly off more than 50 percent.

For the event yesterday, the distributor promoted well — using only e-mail. They used our pre-event pieces, and their own TMs to encourage attendance. Their message was “Change what you’re doing to change the results you’re getting,” which resonated. They recognized the economic impact, but further offered that while things were down, homeowners would still need service. If competitors had gone silent, then more customers would flock to the vocal and vibrant.

They had the most attendees at this event than in their entire history. They all stayed until the very end, gathering, learning, laughing, and committed to change. Was it my message that did it? Hardly. It is the more attractive reversal from the overly dour woe-is-me attitude.

Another record was set that day. A full 34 percent of the crowd — financially and via written agreement — committed to change their marketing approach, immediately. They adopted a three-step formula to radically pursue their market.

There was fire in their eyes, and it was not the short-term twinkle of the day’s opiate. It had been glowing awhile. To be honest, I would not want to be their competition. Your thoughts?

It seemed like a good idea to get new tools. I mean, it was Saturday, there were a ton of specials going on.

Earlier that day, I’d taken one of my old cars to my favorite shop for a little transaxle leak. OK, it was gushing enough oil to have triggered an alert to Green Peace. So I drove my trusty truck to what used to be “Where America Shops” and began shopping for tools, atypically clutching coupons and door buster specials. (My wife was proud of my shopping prowess. All of it was her idea.)

A red-vested product specialist appears, sensing a valid Visa card, “Can I help you find something special today?” he asks. “Well, lucky you” I responded, “I need a new tool chest, some shiny things to go in it, and it’s my birthday.” Smiling he responds, “That’s a good start!” Things went downhill from there.

Oh, we found the deals. We fondled the socket sets (not together mind you, that would’ve been just weird) and I even selected a lighted workbench, with a drawer and external plug.

I figured I’d be out of there by noon. It was just 11:40 a.m. Keep that in mind.

I pull my truck to the loading door where I’m told it’ll take “5 minutes” to go get my stuff off the floor. Make that 10. OK, it’s 12:20 p.m., no tool chest. Apparently, the computer never told the loading fellows that it was on the floor. (Funny, the computer never asked me anything.)

They eventually locate the runaway chest and load almost everything in the truck. “You’ll need to go to the warehouse to get the workbench. Just show them this receipt.” It’s not far, but my teeth are grinding to the point of expelling little teeth chards and the guy thinks I’m choking on a Trisket. It’s 12:30. I stuff my wad of receipts in the console. As I’m driving away, it hits me: “Why do I have a wad of receipts?” (This is the male shopping gene. Females look at receipts and say, “I don’t have NEARLY enough!”)

In the warehouse parking lot, I unroll said wad to see I was charged twice for my tool chest. I briefly consider redelivering my entire purchase through their front door.

I’m staring at the warehouse entrance. A big bay door is open, and one lone worker stands at the loading dock. I have a partial order in my truck, an overcharge in my hand, and have spent a full hour trying to give this store $580 of business. Above the door, in faded paint, I see the tagline, “…Where America Shops”, and think, “Not any more.”

Points to Ponder :

What is your customer process?

Why would anyone recommend you?

What do you do to encourage referrals?

How hard are you to do business with?

What one thing would make it easier?

For the fifth year in a row, "Fast Food" categories scored the worst among U.S. companies for customer service. Definitions from compilers varied from "rude and indifferent" to "inaccurate, unthankful." Yet, two in this category have seen remarkably "positive improvements," and in no surprise, each are outperforming the category.

Though everyone loves to hate McDonald's as much as contractors hate the Yellow Pages, they instituted a 108-point "Improvement Stimulus" (named before the trillion dollar bailout package of the same name) that helped rocket them into "most improved" category. Chick-Fil-A, long a company moral and ethical aptitude, making "social consciousness" grades before we knew what to call them, topped the list of "best in category". Sure, this could be the same as being the "most truthful attorney", but still, an honor to an honorable company.

So, where do you come in?

We started measuring one "Customer Service" performance criteria for contractors two years ago. In 6,000 calls, we found the information below.

My question: Since contracting customer service is often directed through the CSR, what training or strategies do you offer your CSRs to improve this "first line of contact" for customers?

You don’t see Viagra ads during The Tyra Banks Show, but you do see anti-depressants advertised during the Nightly News. As far as timing, Viagra ads perk up (so to speak) just before Valentine’s Day, and Claritin ads hit as allergy season ramps up. None of those are coincidental, and all are staggeringly profitable.

You can sense from the above that targeting and timing are crucial marketing elements. Yet, within the message are four marketing lessons from these gargantuan models, worthy of emulation. If, in a downward-spiraling economy, you’d prefer to copy than to re-invent with your own wallet, I offer…

• Direction or Call-to-Action — Drug companies always give specific “call to”, “ask” “get a free DVD” or “go to the website at” advice. Tell your prospect what you want them to do. Especially in a downward economy, leaving them to guess is a bad idea, a waste of your ad space, time, and money. This has been my advice for eight years in a row; significantly more important now. No guessing allowed.

• Damaging Admission — Drug companies are law-bound to mention anything that occurs in a certain percentage of cases, laughably-frightening or not. (“If maple syrup begins coming out of your ears…” Yet in marketing – and here’s the lesson – there is an automatic filter that everyone has when an offer sounds too good, too perfect. Thus, a damaging admission is an honesty-inducer, effectively opening the filter toward credibility. Such as: “We have the most popular colors and the biggest selection in town!” is typical ad schlock, filter set too high. Better to say, “We have virtually all size systems for this stimulus credit, but the 3 ton size will sell out the fastest. Call to find out your size now.” This is far more specific, interesting, urgent, and allows the customer to accept other statements more readily. The trick is to make your admission positive and lead-inducing.

• Targeting — This is actually the most important one, but put here on purpose. The “who” you want to attract must match the audience for the media. What is your targeted audience watching, reading, listening to? (We have a list of the top 9 HVAC lists if you click below.)

The best target — by far — is your current customer base. Immediately afterward is one many contractors toss aside: former customers. Next are referrals, then those “like” your customers, then those in proximity to customers. The most efficient method of contact is to target for highest probability of sale first, then move down the list. Efficiency in marketing is now more important than ever.

• Benefits over price — In a weakened economy, cutting prices up front is common, but often interpreted as desperate, quivering, weak negating any real gain. They don’t know how much a furnace tune up should cost; discounting up-front is pointless.

Make sure your price cuts are positioned powerfully after benefits are spelled out. The drug ads speak initially of “improvement, health, increased energy, no soreness” and other benefits, then offer a free one-month trial, to make it irresistible. (Plus, if they told you the price, we’d need heart medication too.) Think in terms of what you can offer free, without risk, or by merely accepting the risk with a substantial guarantee. For years, our clients have offered buy-back guarantees, energy savings guarantees, 2 degree guarantees, on-time service guarantees, and much more. They often dominate the market simply for being bold.

What can you do to change your economy with better marketing?

*For a free report on the best way to hit your best target (see #3 above) click http://hudsonink.com/marketing_ektekfrm890.aspx

Incredible. Just got back from the ACCA National Conference; crowds were LARGER this year than last, very little moaning about “you know what.” (Working to strike it from vocabulary if not psyche.)

I can actually report optimism, eagerness toward marketing aggression, even some hyper-activity about customer retention efforts. Seems this group was intent on yanking business from napping or negligent competitors. Word of the week seemed to be “implementation” since most all agreed that seminars were outstanding for enthusiasm and idea infusion, but over-burdened contractors don't often implement as they'd prefer. A "service" opportunity clearly exists, either for off-site or on-site "implementers."

Actually had 4 people in our seminar report record years in 2008; one admitting a 28 percent increase, another reporting 24 percent, neither slowing down. All in all, a good if exhausting week. Much to do.

Stimulation, now in progress. Not sure about any of you, but I don’t think any stimulus checks are coming my way.

Instead of sending all that dough to people who will likely spend it to gas up the corporate jet for a little holiday in Bali, why not let regular ol’ people have some relief? Oh wait…

They did that.

Seems the former $500 Government Energy Credit (credit, NOT deduction) has ballooned into $1,500 for homeowners. We had written a letter that pulled $1.2m (for one contractor) on the $500 program, then it went across the United States. I can only hope the tripling of the benefit will help.

This, boys and girls, is exciting. Contractors, your “selling” has just become easier, your “value building” and then dropping the price has just become more dramatic. Your upsells just became free, or nearly so.

Think of you selling your homeowner at full sticker, and then saying, “Oh, and I can slash $1500 off that right now” and while their eyes are still bugged out, “and we can apply any or all of it to this ”. I see hope. How ‘bout you?

“Hello, this is Sad Sack Contracting, how may I make your day somewhat miserable?”

Whoo boy, changes everywhere. After my last speaking gig — which are always fun while being nearly permanently exhausting — I reflected on the variety of questions and personalities and found something very interesting.

One contractor would be in line, looking downward, asking me to sign a copy of my book but admitting, “Looks like this is going to be a slow year; I’ve got to cut back on Yellow Pages; I’ve got to get the phone ringing; I’ve got to…” and it was all a bunch of painful, if not overwhelming, demands placed on himself by … guess who? (If stumped, read on.)

The next guy in line would say, “Oh man, I am so fired up! I can’t wait to cut my YP budget down to size; but first to clobber my frightened competitors with that service postcard you showed and put some money in the bank! Plus, I’m starting on the Cluster Control campaign you advised next month! Awesome!”

And there I’d be, meeting person after person at the same event, in the same business, facing the same opportunities, in the same area, with mostly the same need … and approaching them as differently as if they were alternate species.

In a year from now, how much more different will these two be? Who will come out ahead and why?

OK, the word is out. I’m uncaged, unplugged, and ready to unleash HVAC marketing weaponry for all NEWS readers.

Today, it becomes “public” knowledge that The NEWS — in a glaring demonstration of misjudgment — has asked me to be their marketing columnist. Woe be unto them. Perhaps unto you as well. My first “real” article is later this month, but the blog is apparently, today.

Managing Editor Kyle Gargaro said, “Just keep it informal. Write what you want to write, something that may invite comments.” So here goes…Just got a letter in the mail from our insurance company. It begins, “We welcome you to a new world of quality service; a clearer vision of the future; and our new logo which encompasses this message than ever before.”

I almost became ill.

Do they, in an economy reminiscent of the Titanic’s maiden voyage, actually think I give a rip about their logo? Never saw such a self-absorbed, meaningless effort at corporate hogwash in my life. Or at least since I got the last letter on an equally moot point.

Makes me wonder if you handed a prudent businessperson the $80,000 for the “new corporate identity” and the $310,000 to mail the 255,000 regional customers (math gathered from a local agency estimating the creative and fulfillment cost) maybe they could’ve come up with something better.

Makes me wonder how the board meeting to blow nearly $400 grand of customer’s money on this frivolity got the high-five, right before they started pouring the 14-year-old Scotch. Sickening.

As a marketer, it mostly made me wonder how that added a dime of value, another sale, another customer, or a worthwhile benefit. If handed the funds, how would you have spent the money for your company?